How bad do you want it?

I was going to write something about the ups and downs of changing my habits, but my wife and I had a much better discussion.  We were driving to see our relatives and my wife discussed her reasoning behind changing her day to get up at 5 AM.  We'd talked about it before, but never in this detail.  For some reason, it never sunk in to me.  She has been struggling with her weight her entire life.  Lots of bad habits were instilled by people who didn't know the first thing about making a sustainable change in your life.  She jumped from fad diet to fad diet on a weekly basis for years.  Then she just gave up. 

After we got married, I encouraged her to continue her weight loss journey.  She made some progress, but not much.  A year or two went by.  Her dad died.  At that point, she had made some progress in losing weight, but not much.  Her dad told her she looked good, and to keep it up.  A good four or five months went by.  She decided it was time to do more about her weight.  She and I would go run out at a trail several times per week, but it was all dependent on when I got home from work.  That could be anywhere between 6 and 8 PM Monday through Friday.  We would go Saturday and Sunday, if I wasn't on call.  So the determination to do "something" resulted in action maybe 3 days a week at best.  That wasn't much in the way of leading towards her goal.

Then I got sick.  I worked myself into the ground after months of 10 plus hour days and my body rebelled.  I got a high fever, climbed into bed, and slept for almost 24 hours straight. 

I was home sick, and my wife wanted to go run.

But there was no way I was going.  And something in her mind broke, and she shot past her fear and went running without me.  I went back to work on Monday, rested and refreshed.  I got home from work about 6 PM, and my wife went running.  And this continued, but the same original problem returned.  I'd get home between 6 and 8 PM, every day, Monday through Friday.  So once again, she was back to the same problem. 

She wanted to lose weight, but running after I got home just wasn't the greatest time to do it.  It all became dependent on when I made it home from work.  Her mind spent some time trying to find a solution, and she got frustrated. 

She let out her frustration on a message board, and someone with a bit more experience ripped her a new one.  Everything for success was laid out at her feet, but she wouldn't do anything.  The question was laid at her feet: how badly do you want this?  Sure, she wanted to lose weight.  She was perfectly willing to gripe about how unfair her situation was, but she wasn't doing anything about it.  But how badly do you want this?  Are you willing to rearrange your life to accomplish your goals?  Are you willing to give up your sleep and your comforts? 

I might make it home after 6 or 8 PM every night, but I never left for work before 8 AM.  Okay, sometimes I do.  But it's very rare.  Our apartment complex gets a gym membership for a massively reduced rate.  The gym opens at 5 AM.  And the plan was born. 

My wife would start waking up at 5 AM, and spend time at the gym between 5 and 7 AM.  And she has.  So thirteen days later, the results are showing, slowly but steadily.  She has lost 4 pounds in those days.  In the end, it came down to: how badly do you want it?  She wanted it bad enough to rearrange her entire life towards the accomplishment of a goal.   

How bad do you want it?

Next time: my takeaways from her journey.  Both of us learned something.  And I was making just as many excuses as she was.  But that's next time.