Loss of Routine

I just realized why I hate on call.  I am not currently on call, so that is not the issue.  I will be in a couple of weeks.  But that's a future problem.  Who's going to solve that one?  Future Matt. 

Right now, I know why I dislike on call. 

It breaks my routines.

That's about it. 

I have several routines that I go through Monday through Friday.  They are simple actions that result in a controlled beginning to a day.  Occasionally, the day crashes and burns.  Other days, it goes fine.  But my routine stays with me.

 When I lose the ability to perform that routine, things go haywire.  It's not something I inherently like or am happy with.  It's just a gigantic failing.  It's unpleasant.

And my entire week goes to hell.

I can tell it's been a bad week when the last time I shaved was Monday.  Shaving is a boring ritual.  Along with brushing and flossing.  Shaving happens three times a week: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.   This week, I only shaved Monday.  Tuesday was the last day I performed my routine. 

And I'm headed to the end the week, dragging this controlled crash into the best possibility. 

I want my routine back. 

Falling back into a routine

I'm falling back into a routine.  The first few days were a fight to get the routine going.  The few days afterwards have been empowering.  I can't say they have been great.  But it's been a lot easier keeping the routine. 

I think that's with all new practices.  The initial period is always horrendous.  It's a few days or a few weeks of thinking about doing something, but never doing it.  It makes me think of Confidence and Paranoia from an episode of Red Dwarf.  Lister ended up getting sick, and his confidence and paranoia came to life as external beings.  Your confidence, to paraphrase Lister, is the guy who tells you you're great, you're wonderful, you're sexy, and everyone loves.  Your paranoia tells you you're stupid, you're ugly, and everyone hates you. 

Both are just competing opinions in the brain.  The answer is simple and obvious: trudge on regardless.  Start regardless of what you think. 

It gets easier to follow the routine through days 3 and 4.  Though the first few days are pretty much like pulling teeth. 

Is it automatic yet?  No.  No where near.  But it is at least to the point where I can see a benefit in going through the motions and doing the exercise.  I'd generally say give something at least two weeks, but I know I haven't done that before. 

But then I'm also influenced by the thought that people overestimate what they can do in a day and underestimate what they can do in a year.    Broken down, some goals aren't that hard when spaced out over a year.  There just has to be definite progress throughout.  And there almost never is definite progress.

Recent books I've read:  
The Four Hour Chef by Tim Ferris