Changes in scenery

I was going to write something about "The Millionaire Next Door", but I'm not going to do that.  I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said.   At the moment, I'm going to write about "Man of Valor" by Richard Exlev.   And I think before I fall off a cliff again, I'm going to go back to something I was doing that seemed to be helping me, despite the anger from my wife. 

I think I need to relearn discipline, because it seems to be slipping back and forth and in and out, and I'm not achieving what I want to achieve.  The subtle spastic-ness that always jumped into my life is returning, and I'm skipping between subjects like a squirrel on crack.   Five minutes on this subject, two minutes on this other one.   A minute here.  A minute there.   A start to this project, and an attempt to learn that subject.  

But in the end, it's all been spent time without anything gained.  No real jump in knowledge or intelligence.  No true growth.   As I was saying, I've been reading "Man of Valor" as a chapter a day devotional with the knowledge that my life needs something that I'm missing.  I don't know what, but I know where to look.  I'm just not spending the time and doing the looking in the way that I should. 

We moved from our old one bedroom apartment to a three bedroom duplex separated by the car port.  We have our own yard, and space for everyone.  We still have no Internet, as that hasn't been set up yet.  I would have expected better service as I told someone on Monday when we were moving Friday.  But the person I told was on vacation.  So it has been almost a week long respite from the normal cares of day to day life.  The only connection to the outside world right now is my iPhone and our various trips into town.   I say "into town" because we're about 10 miles outside of town on old military base housing.  It's actually kind of a neat neighborhood, if you aren't quite ready to buy.

Day by day, "Man of Valor" is providing a different way of looking at life.  And one of things it talks about that I know I'm missing right now is discipline.  Discipline is the key to all of it, and I should have learned that in the military.  It was always the basis of everything we did.  There was no "other thing" unless there was first discipline.  But how hard is it to do any of it?  None at all.  It just has to be done. 

"The Millionaire Next Door" also talks about discipline, but as a means of a case study.  The people in the book were described as disciplined and fearless.  The only fears the entrepreneur seemed to have was of things they couldn't control.  But isn't that my real problem: a degree of fear?  Because I'm pushing myself towards an end goal with the hope that something will break and change, but is that really what's going to happen?  Are my fears justified: I can see what just two or three months of hard discipline is going to produce, but do I want to do it?  Am I going to have to take this road alone, or can I drag my wife, kicking and screaming, down the path with me. 

Because I'm really tired of going it alone and having to drag people along.