I’ve been reading through Proverbs in my quest to finish the
Bible this year. So I’m using YouVersion
and plan that has me read the entire thing in a year. Technically, I started 2 years ago, and never
finished. But I picked up where I left
off, and now I’ve been going steady since January 1.
Anyways, I was thinking through the various parts about the
correction of children. I know
correction has been simplified to “spare the rod, spoil the child”. But that’s a hideous abbreviation of a
collection of different proverbs. Most
of them say “don’t hesitate to discipline your child”. But the comment is not often made on how to
discipline.
In other words, discipline should exist. But I’m not going to tell you how to
discipline.
If the Bible is the word of God, and God is smart, then what
the Bible says should be smart. I’ve got
three kids. The older kids (3 and 5)
have completely different personalities.
Disciplining each child requires different actions and corrections. Sometimes the reward is a positive reward,
sometimes a negative reward. But in the
end, there is some sort of correction.
Throughout the parts of the Bible I’ve read, the correcting
action changes. God was not a one trick
pony when it came to correcting the Jews, and as a parent we shouldn’t be
either. The old adage of “spare the rod,
spoil the child” is the adage of a one trick pony.
There is a second question that needs contemplated when
talking about corrective actions. Think
back to the corrective actions your parents used. And then answer the question: did it
work? I’m pretty sure most children will
eventually parent the way their parents did.
They will use the same corrective actions. I saw a lot of parents use corporal
punishment. I also saw a lot of kids who
weren’t phased by corporal punishment.
Fifteen minutes after being paddled, they were back to their old
ways. In effect, the corrective action
was not effective in solving the issue.
The entire purpose of a corrective action is to get the
person to correct their action. It’s not
for the parent to feel better. It’s to
correct the action that was wrong. If
the corrective action didn’t work, then new measures must be developed.